This past weekend really did me in. My loving dog and lifelong friend, April, started having seizures on my birthday. I came home from work, and my family had already taken her to the vet. We had blood tests ran on Saturday, all the while her symptoms of increased heart rate and rapid breathing began to worsen. I stayed up with her at night and got her to eat some food by mixing beef broth with it, and her favorite food, CHEESE! The blood test results came back with signs of low red blood cell count, and more tests would have to be done to see what else was going on.

Sunday I went for a long walk and thought about what we should do. I prayed to the Spirits, or Guardians I believe watch over the earth and the creatures that live here. I wanted April to go where she needed to be, even if I couldn’t physically be with her anymore. Monday, her symptoms worsened, and she began to bleed slightly from her nose. I lay down to her and cried, wanting to know what was causing her sickness, and I prayed again. My hand was resting on her side, and I felt a clump of fur by her arm. Then I noticed it was a giant fucking tick! That little bastard was bigger than a dime! We immediately took rubbing alcohol and poured it on the blood sucker and it came off. We don’t know for sure, but April might have contracted an illness from the tick. I felt better in a way, knowing what might have been the cause.

But I knew it was her time to go, and we had to put her out of her suffering. She couldn’t get up at all. Her eyes were unfocused, she wouldn’t eat or drink. She had seizures every 10 minutes. We called the vet and had her put to rest. I stayed next to her, with my hand on her chest, and I felt her heartbeat fade away as the vet injected the drug. But I felt relieved, that she didn’t have to feel the pain anymore. It was ominously peaceful.

April was one of my best friends of 14 years, and I am glad that she is now free. I had been looking in all the wrong places for what I wanted, and I now realize, that it was under my nose this entire time. Friendship. She gave me courage and strength to let go, and to honor my own spirit. I feel very grateful to have had a dog and friend like her. Thank you April, for inspiring me, protecting me, and always being there when I needed you.

She helped teach me that you have to be who you are, take your time, smell the roses, eat, take a crap, a nap, and to love those around you.

Here is a picture of her ^^ [link]

Thank you everybody for the Happy Birthday Wishes! I was shocked!